While Michele Bachmann glanced back from her meteoric broomstick ride in the polls, an unhappy Sarah Palin seemed perplexed. As she told all of us on her historic motor coach ride though American truckstops and Civil War reenactments... (which occur spontaneously, I am told)... she had to call off her entire Northeast tour of America because she was going fishing.
Emergency fishing, I presume. With keen political sense and wits akimbo, she knew something was up. Something smelled fishy... and that always meant Michele Bachmann... or a big shrimp sale at Costco.
What Palin didn't know was that Bachmann's people had their poles in the water long before Palin even gassed up for her faux trip. Don't mess with that Gay Deprogramming Ministry-- They can snuff out a Sea Monster... take the wind out of Sarah's sales... and still have time to grab a quick drink before the next Patti Lupone concert
Sarah puffed herself up and shouted: "Hey, Todd! Get that Patridge Family bus outta the driveway-- The Country... and Borders Books... needs me!"
"When's Crystal coming down from her celebrity high?" barks back Todd. "This house-husband b.s. bites..."
He scratches himself and all the Bachmann people whimper a delightfully lustful sigh.
You know what the Bachmann people are thinking, right? Too bad Todd's straight, because he would make such a fine specimen to be turned gay, then made straight again. It would be like the LOGO version of the Frankenstein experiment, except the end result is George Clooney instead of George Bush. Just consider if you will:
1) It would prove Bachmann's off-the-Gaydar theories about homo-hetero-reassignment. (Dunk teabag here!)
2) It could gain them the Republican nomination... and perhaps even the White House. (Dunk again!)
3) Or it could just be a great opportunity to see Todd with his shirt off, telling nasty heterosexual stories in Alaska-speak. "Wanna see my trouser trout?"
The latest thing to come out of Alaska doesn't have a million dollar book deal, talking-head employment on FOX-TOXIC-TV... or even a Winnebago to call home. Heck, it doesn't even have legs... just like Sarah's political ambitions.
No, Sarah Palin ran back home to Alaska to go fishing... and all she caught was her dress on Michele Bachmann's husband's sewing mannequin. Yes, he sews. That doesn't make him less of a man, just one helluva sticher.
It will, however, get him better seats at the Republican Convention... or the next re-animation of a Liza Minneli comeback show.
In life, you never know when you'll get your "Romney" caught in the zipper of your fly...
Let's see who appreciates a good seamstress then, missy...
AliasDanny@Rocketmail.com
www.WhenDannyMetSally.com
Copyright WDMS 2012
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