Sunday, August 5, 2012

THE LITTLE ISLAND (1958) Film & Long Lost Self Interview with with Animator, Richard Williams

 By Danny Alias

While flipping through Vol. 1, First Issue of "The Journal of Frankenstein" (a photo-illustrated monster movie zine from 1959), I stumbled upon something, well, quite amazing.   Somehow amidst articles such as "The 7th Voyage of Sinbad," "The Return of the Son of the Bride of Frankenstein"... (Sorry, no returns; store credit only!)... and a preview of the soon-to-be-released "House on Haunted Hill"... a golden nugget appeared.

The following article is a long lost self-interview with Richard Williams himself.  The man behind the now classic "The Little Island" was obviously trying to drum up U.S. interest in his film in any way possible.  There is no other reason he'd be in a trash zine like this; it's a great trash zine, don't get me wrong.  But Richard Williams created art and his article is mixed in amongst the ghosts and zombies and cheesy special effects of below-B movies.  WTF?




As the article itself didn't scan clearly enough for my oft-blurry taste, I have recreated it here in it's entirety.   Only WDMS would bring this long forgotten article on what would later become a ground breaking film. 

But I digress.  Let's let Richard Williams interview himself.  Remember, he did this in 1959.

ANIMATION AND THE LITTLE ISLAND by Richard Williams

(Foreword:  25 year old Canadian artist Richard Willilams worked with animation companies in America before coming to Britain four years ago.  His half-hour cartoon "The Little Island." which excited considerable praise at Brussels and Cannes, came first in the experimental section of the recent Documentary and Short Film Festival in Venice.  it is believed to be the longest animated production ever undertaken by one person).

Sitting down to talk seriously about animation at the same time as speaking subjectively about my own film "The Little Island" is going to be a bit confusing.

First, I am much too involved with my own work to be really objective about the medium.  And second, how can I, in 1,000 words or less, talk about "The Little Island," which took three years to make and doesn't have a single spoken word in it?

My own view is that, with few exceptions, the animated cartoon has always been used as a sort of comic-strip illustration.  The recent sophisticated cartoons are just the same-- only precious instead of vulgar.  Mind you, I enjoy these cartoons; but it would never enter my head to consider animation by these standards as a "serious" medium.

I mean, with a tradition of this kind it is very hard to stop thinking in terms of what has been done in the past-- and suddenly to see the artistically unexplored possibilities.  Instead of realizing that you can move any mark you make in any way that you want and put any sort of sound or music with it to get exactly the effect you need-- you tend immediately to think of sentimental Valentine card animals or pop-eyed horrors bashing each other to bits or clever-clever animated Steinberg illustrations with "Design-for-living" backdrops.

3 years in the making, "The Little Island"... "Tracing & Painting the Monsters."

I didn't make "The Little Island" in order to rebel against these conceptions.  On the contrary: the need of the film came by itself.  I was a painter, and had long given up any previous interest in animation.  But, for me, the ideas in "The Little Island" could only really be expressed as I wanted through the cartoon medium.  And in the course of working on the film the possibilities of the medium itself became so apparent that I couldn't understand why I hadn't seen them before.

"The Little Island" itself is a satire about three little men on a tiny island, each with his own fixed viewpoint.  One believes in Goodness, the next in Truth, and the third in Beauty.  They have great, involved fantasies of these ideals, and then start picking each other to pieces.  I tried in a comic way to describe the horror of the complete lack of understanding among the three characters.

It is a traditional cartoon film in many ways, since the idea demanded "cartoon" sort of treatment.  The difference, however, is that I tried to get the elements in it to move and live in their own way, and not just to illustrate in a literal fashion some or other story conception.  The music by Tristam Cary is never treated as just background music-- and in some cases it comes forward and leads the visual.  So that music and effects are clear-cut and have a meaning of their own: their function is complementary, not illustrative.

Certainly, for me, the most successful parts of "The Little Island" do this, while the parts I am least happy with drop back slightly in literalism.  And I feel that the cleaner-cut the elements in a drawn film the greater the possibility for carrying direct emotional power.

Now that "The Little Island" is finished, I want to work in different directions from "cartoon" animation.  I feel that animation is not, as is usually considered, a primarily funny medium.  I'm sure that when it is developed further it can be moving and satisfying.

The French critic Andre Martin says very nicely: "Animation is a great art which doesn't quite exist."

It is as if out of a whole field of possibilities, a couple of tiny furrows have been fantastically developed in craftsmanship, showmanship and technique, while the rest of the field has been almost completely neglected.

One thing we have really been given is a wealth of technical information.  Now all we have to do is to use it.  However, there are serious practical difficulties.  There is the enormous amount of donkey work, the need for elaborate equipment and the terrific expense of production (in most cases, greater than for live action).  And since the amount of work is so great, for anyone working alone or even in a small group, one is limited to fairly short films which at the moment are only "fillers" in cinema programs.

Oddly enough, I feel that indirectly television offers a great deal of hope.  Because of the terrific demand for TV animation (mostly advertising commercials), there are more cameras, rostrums and technical equipment available.  In my own case, I financed and housed "The Little Island" solely on my travels through various TV production studios.

So, ironically, one can work on bulb-nosed characters in black and white for television in order to work in one's own way for a large cinema screen with excellent color and sound facilities.

I think also that there will be a great development in animated film when the various artists and musicians working in it (usually by way of TV) stop considering it as an "applied art" and work seriously in it on its own terms, as a medium in its own right.

I hope personally that, aside from what I've tried to express in the film, "The Little Island" is a step in this direction."  

By Richard Williams

NOTE:  Talk about prescient.... Remember this film and self-interview was from 1959.  Consider how HUGE animation is in film; most of the highest box office films of our time have been animated.  And television?  From The Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy... to entire cable networks... it is clear that Richard Williams isn't just a pioneer or an animation psychic:  He saw the future and made it his.  

 In 1988, Richard Williams was the Animation Director of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".  Wiki him... He is still working today.

Reprinted from "The Journal of Frankenstein", 1959.



AliasDanny@Rocketmail.com

www.WhenDannyMetSally.com

Copyright WDMS 2012

Jackie Beat Strikes Cult Status Via Vintage Vengeance

By Danny Alias

JACKIE BEAT:  "I really love the 1970's unicorn head mirror (see below) that I found at Goodwill -- Everyone who sees it wants to steal it!" 

An alumnus of Santa Monica's spinoff of Chicago's Second City, Jackie Beat is a parody singer, comic actor and playwright. She has appeared in such films as Wigstock, Flawless, Sex & The City and Adam & Steve.  Over the last few years Jackie has become the Queen of YouTube, with her music videos being viewed by the multiple millions.  She is, quite simply, a superstar-- and WDMS is thrilled to present the following interview with this compelling entertainer.

But how does one define a legend in the making?  She outsmarts and out sings Weird Al Yankovic with a voice as sharp as her wit.  As an actor she can steal a scene with a serial killer's glance or a jester's gesture.  As a playwright she can hold her own with Charles Ludlam or Charles Busch.  Just what CAN"T this beautiful bitch do?

In this exclusive interview for WDMS Jackie divulges her personal Vintage Passions for the very first time.  She has graciously pulled back the fake tinsel of L.A. to reveal the real tinsel behind.

Like David Mamet or Lenny Bruce, Jackie can weave the vulgar into poetry-- and poetry into big laughs.  With an artful ease she can turn double entendres into somersaults peppered with one liners.

She IS NOT a singing Don Rickles in a fabulous frock, though she can cut down a heckler like a seasoned Catskill pro. And she IS NOT just a drag diva lip syching to old records or having others write her material.

No.  JACKIE BEAT is perhaps one of the most original musical comedy creations working today.  Discover the underground cult phenomenon of our time... the spectacular, JACKIE BEAT.

(ADULT WARNING: If you've never experienced JACKIE BEAT, buckle up-- You're in for one bumpy & darn funny sight, especially in this Peggy Lee send-up.  If you're easily offended, we're not sure what you're doing on this blog.  However with this warning aside, we KNOW you still HAVE to WATCH this!)

DANNY ALIAS: When did you first realize you were funny? 

JACKIE BEAT:  When I was a little kid my mom was depressed.  This was long before people spoke of such things and way before they had commercials for anti-depressants on TV every five minutes.  I guess I kind of felt like it was my job to make my mom smile -- and if I could make her laugh it was like hitting the jackpot!

DANNY ALIAS: So much of your art seems to be absorbing the media and then throwing it back in everyone’s face in a most hilarious way.   Has this always been your comic “voice” or did you evolve into this persona over time?

JACKIE BEAT: I think it's important to kick the pedestal out from beneath icons.  And these days, with people like Lady Gaga, someone has to stand up and scream, "The emperor has no clothes!"

DANNY ALIAS: Your send-up of “Whatever Happened to Busty Jane” was comic genius, right down to the smallest sight-gag.  What was your motivation to create such an off-beat homage?

JACKIE BEAT: I was trying to think of a show that every gay guy would go see.  And then it hit me that "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane" plus gay porn would be something no homosexual could possible pass up!

DANNY ALIAS: What is your most coveted Vintage item?

JACKIE BEAT: I love them all, but honestly, I could live without any or all of them.  The items add beauty to my life, but I try not to get too attached to things.  Having said that, I really love this faux amber sculpture that I found of an ancient Greek man's head.  I lit it from behind and it's just stunning!  I also really love the 1970's unicorn head mirror I found at Goodwill -- everyone who sees it wants to steal it!

DANNY ALIAS: How has Vintage affected your life both on and off the stage?

JACKIE BEAT: I love vintage clothing -- male AND female -- and I just generally prefer things with a past.  Would you rather eat lunch with a 4 year old kid or some forty-something who has been around the block and has some hilarious, wonderful stories to tell?  And they just don;t make things like they used to.  It's a question of style and quality.  I love doing parodies of old songs, too.  First of all, the originals are so well-written that it makes for a much better parody.  And second, I love the mix of an old-fashioned classic tune with horrible, filthy lyrics.  When worlds collide!

DANNY ALIAS: What’s your favorite Ladies’ accessory?

JACKIE BEAT: I love sunglasses!  I have quite the collection of them.  I like to walk out in stage wearing sunglasses and apologize that I didn't have time to do my eye makeup.  Then I take the glasses off to reveal my world-famous, award-winning eyes!

DANNY ALIAS: You recently wrote on “Jackiebeat.blogspot.com” of your Top 10 Female Movie Fashions of all Time!   If you could steal-- (sorry)-- be given just one outfit from one of these classic films, what would it be?

JACKIE BEAT: I really do adore that dress that Celeste Holm wore in "All About Eve!"  Like I said in my blog, I imagine it to be this oriental blood orange color.  It would be the perfect outfit for me to wear while lounging in my living room!

DANNY ALIAS: Is there any celebrity you’ve met that left you tongue tied?  Or that you wanted to tie tongues with?

JACKIE BEAT: Andrea Martin, the comedian best known for SCTV got me all tongue-tied, but she immediately put me at ease.  She's a total sweetheart.  Sandra Bernhard is the reason I am a performer -- yes, blame HER! -- and although I have worked with her several times and she is always friendly, I always get nervous around her because she is such a fearless genius.

DANNY ALIAS: You are infamous for your cover songs:  What type of comments have you received from the artists whose songs you’ve parodied?

JACKIE BEAT:  I have gotten many death threats from Lady Gaga and Britney Spears fans.  I guess they are humorless morons, go figure.  I have heard that Katie Perry really loved "I Kissed A Squirrel!"

DANNY ALIAS: What Jackie Beat projects are in the works? 

JACKIE BEAT: I will be performing in Provincetown this Summer!

GO, JACKIE, GO!



AliasDanny@Rocketmail.com

www.WhenDannyMetSally.com

Copyright WDMS 2012

Screw the Mayans! Devil Devises Special "Grace in Hell" for End Times Preacher

By Danny Alias


(Photo:  BEELEZABUB a/k/a THE DEVIL at a FAUST-MEPHISTO Faux Drag Ball He'd Rather Not Tell The Wife About)

"It's a slap in the face to the future's false history" quipped THE DEVIL. "2012? Ha!"

He'd been trumped.

The often publicity shy BEELEZABUB a/k/a THE DEVIL issued this stinging rebuke to "End Times" preachers throughout the world.

Taking a break from his wide ranging daily activities of evil-doing, from fatal diseases and horrific disasters... to making certain that you lose your cell phone... this Famous Fallen Angel is damn efficient.

So it was surprising to see a string of Tweets, Posts & Etsy listings decrying the fraud that has befallen the gullible public.

Of note was his cryptic comment: "I am so sick of these Amateur Fortune Tellers: I could spit enough fire & brimstone-- the Rivers of Mylanta & Pepto-Bismol would run dry."

When told that these drugs were readily available in packaged containers, that there were never "rivers" of either, THE DEVIL changed the subject in his own rant.  (Note: He's slated for next season's "Celebrity Apprentice: Special Victims Unit".)

Still it was unprecedented for a such an underworldly figure to come out against the wacko preachers who've hustled the poor of their cash, cheated the sick from their health and filled local TV with some really annoying programming.  OK, now I get the end of days. Endless identical programming on every device.  Hell.

Clearly the work of THE DEVIL, no?

Well. No. It is what he does for a living-- and the dead. And yes, messing everything up is his true gift.  At best you can say he's professionally horrible.

But this time it was a sub-human being, one of our own No-Televangelists who outfoxed THE DEVIL himself.

Now have you seen THE EXORCIST?  Linda Blair's career didn't survive, so why ever would yours?  Trust me: You don't want to get on THE DEVIL's bad side-- especially on a Wednesday for some reason.

"It's rare to find someone worse than myself" said the THE DEVIL with a cigar in one hand and a worn copy of "Pumping Iron" in the other.

"But these prophets for profit?  I mean, have you ever seen me predict the end of the world?  Only a schmuck says something that stupid!"

AliasDanny@Rocketmail.com

www.WhenDannyMetSally.com

Copyright WDMS 2012

Art Deco Slaves Invade IML: Costume, Culture & Couture, Butt No Ann Coulter

By Danny Alias

(STOP LOOKING FOR THE NAUGHTY BITS.  BLUF'S "Double-Take" POSTER. PHOTO & DESIGN BY RANDY. COURTESY OF BLUF)

Over the Memorial Day weekend Chicago hosted another infamous International Mr. Leather (IML) Expo.  For those of you in the know, this may be a yawner, but for others this may be the moment to ponder why we so love Fashion!

Taking over the entire Hyatt Regency on Wacker (all 4,500 rooms!), this event sold out early.  The hotel hosted an enormous leather trade show (like the auto show, lotsa free ephemera, except way naughtier), with erotic novelties, kinky innovations and booths that defined "fetish" with a capital "F".  (Second "F's" sold separately).

Major events also included an IML Victory Party at the House of Blues, a "Black & Blue Ball" at Excalibur Nightclub (formerly the Chicago Historical Society) as well as the Mr. Leather Contest held in the Grand Ballroom  Wildly popular niche functions such as a Bootblack Reception, BLUF (breeches, leather, uniforms), Gear Blast (not auto, but sportsgear, lycra-- More fashion!)... a Woof Camp (for pups, dogs & handlers, not ASPA-related.

I've heard of no such groups for similarly festishized cats.

Did I forget to mention Rubbermen? Talk about wash & wearable!

IML has morphed into the largest event of it's kind.  Thousands attended from all leathery parts of the world, with the English, French & Germans leading the way.  Finally, something these enemies can now agree on.

Yes, this seemingly fringe fashion fraction has grown into one insatiable cultural top man.

Now why, you may ask is this relevant?  Quite simply, 21st century America did not invent sex.  If it did, the Teabaggers would have chosen a less conspicuous name in their particularly political game of dodge ball.

Leather has had numerous fashion comebacks over the years, so it's no surprise that it's back in a very black (the color) way.

"Dressing up" be it for a naughty 1920's party or a post millennium leather romp-- gives one the chance to walk in another man's (or woman's) shoes... or pumps... or high waisted boots.   If someone else wants to lick said footwear, who are we to judge?   One man's trash in another man's trashy. 

As we all well know from the Vintage Biz, turning trash into a treasured memory is not that far a salad to toss.

Let me head off the angry responses if I may, as I hear a great rumbling in my distant box of email regrets:

"A costume party" says the voice of traditional wisdom "is not a lifestyle.  It's Halloween."

Go with me here: I promise not to let you step into anything as distasteful as a credit default swap.

TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S 1929....

Think back to the times in your life when you dressed up as someone (or something) else.  Maybe as part of a fantasy scene with a long gone "ex"-- or for the Generation "Y" Me, a Zombie Crawl.  (Have you been to Chicago's Andersonville yearly Zombie Crawl?  You'll never look at spaghetti and/or red sauce the same way again.)

Costume, Culture & Couture are the antithesis of the dreaded "C" word.. and I don't mean Ann Coulter.

To explore yourself, discover yourself-- heck, perhaps define yourself--  is what life is all about.  If you don't know, then who the hell are you?

How you show yourself to the world is what the world sees.  So whether you're dressed up for a night on what's left of the town or partying like a Vegetarian Zombie on beer bong bar night, you've got your DRAG on.

Come on: Vegan Zombies?  You can do better than that.

Drag is not cross-dressing unless you're trying to get booked on more than one of RuPaul's oh-so-many-cable shows.  No, what you're wearing right now is drag.   Boy George may have echoed the sentiment, but Oscar Wilde actually lived it... and 100 years earlier.

Leaning even further to the LEFT (hold on tight), Drag... be it Leather Drag, Tupperware Lady Drag, Woodless Log Cabin Republican Drag... that is a Lifestyle choice.

Leaning to the right: Having your hair done is a Lifestyle choice.  Especially if florescent coloring, an overly creative perm or some new Belgravia Cosmetology break through is involved.

How you feel after that hairdo-or-don't of a moment... that is the transformation.  If you like your new look, your new/vintage 40's Cocktail Dress with the tailored collar, you discovered a part of you.  You like yourself.  Almost Sally Field kind-a-way, but not quite.  How can this be bad.. except for the Flying None.

I will submit that it is a large leap from re-inventing one's everyday self via Couture, Vintage or otherwise affordable... to participating in IML.  Some attend such events to join in the carnival of carnality.  Some go to shop.  Some go to see; others, be seen.

Whether exhibitionist or voyeur, the only thing different is the view.

Taking sex out of the equation, you could just as well be mauling the Magnificent Mile, attending your dead-beat brother's wedding to his third wife, or hitting up the latest Mario Batali restaurant.

There you are:  All dressed up and some place to go.

So you better get your Drag Ass out there. The vintage clock is ticking... and it was new when you bought it.

Find your inner-outer-Oprah-Harpo-Marx-Lennon/John-Better U... And Quick!

Remember: You have people to disappoint!






SCARCE SEASIDE ARCADE PROP NOVELTY PHOTO, CIRCA 40's


AliasDanny@Rocketmail.com
wwwWhenDannyMetSally.com

Copyright WDMS 2012

When Really Bad Art Goes Good, Don't Be Naive...

By Danny Alias

What can be deemed worse?  The Spector of Phil Spector above your mantel... or Phil Spector himself? 

Is everything better in Black Velvet?  Black Light?  Black Panther TV Lamps?

Certainly the subject matter can influence one's like or dislike of such art in question. Technique aside, it's hard to turn blind when the beauty is in the oh-so-certain eye of the beholder. 

Of course there is good art; that is not what this article is about.  Good art is everywhere, as well as it should be.  Average art is everywhere, which is unfortunate.  Especially for those that have to insure and/or dust it.

But bad art, bad taste, as John Waters has so maniacally taught us over the years needs to be really, really bad.  Otherwise, it's truly worthless-- Monetarily, aesthetically void of value.  Average art shouldn't even bother getting up in the morning.  Seriously. If you're bad art, just call in sick-- Trust me, no one will miss you.

There is a motto in the antique business: "UGLY SELLS!"    Why?  Because mediocre doesn't.  Average doesn't impress.  Boring should be asked to leave the party.  And who invited him anyway?  He doesn't even bring along his date... Abstinence.  As if she'd ever put out something relevantly shocking.  Yawn. 

Kitsch is that cutting edge between cool and crap.  It's a fine, ever wiggling line, but it's there for the argument, dividing spouses and guests alike... and spending the night on your sofa... or in your bed if it finds someone particularly distasteful amongst your friends and/or frenemies.

CHARLES NELSON REILLY, 1931-2007. ACTOR, COMEDIAN, DIRECTOR

The lost art of the portraiture echoes these sentiments best (or worse).   The National Portrait Gallery in DC is a museum dedicated strictly to the portrait as art form... and save for a handful of later 20th century artist, Warhol, David LaChapelle, etc., it is as outdated as a tintype in our 21st century world of digital photography. Though actual film isn't completely dead, Kodak (and their ilk) pretty much fell in that openly developing grave of obsolescence.  Can you still find real film?  Yes.  Online.  But it has gone underground and is produced like it's an illegal substance of some sort. 

Why was portrait art replaced by the camera?   Just as yesteryear's Photobooths disappeared into the snapshot of lost Americana, so too did our patience.  We want our photo taken and we want it now.

"I can't hold my tongue out forever!" as Einstein once complained before returning to his quest for a Unified Theory of Time, Space & Chicago Parking Meter usage.

I know there are those of you who would argue these issues, but let me add another vintage point to this lost brushoff. 

I have been in 100's of homes over the years-- cleaning out houses, helping people sort through their possessions and those of their deceased relatives.   I have seen COUNTLESS painted portraits of the lifeless homeowners in question. 

In the 1950's and 1960's you had to have your portrait painted.  Like an edict from a priest, you did not question.  If the neighbor got his driveway paved, you had your driveway re-paved, whether it needed it or not.  In that same bulging vein, portrait painters found work from house to house; sometimes it was done at home; other times, you went for a sitting... or two.. or three.  Maybe just of you, looking like a dower insurance salesman... or the pretty lady of the house.  Maybe you and the family, a group portrait. "Make that dog sit still in Sally's lap before I slap her..."  Sally, not the dog. 

Yes, I have seen so many of these one stroke (victim) painted portraits, it's now become a blur to me: One big, boring, framed... blur.

The standouts?  There were only a few.  And guess what they all had in common?  You guessed it.  They had to be bad.  Really bad.  Scary bad.  The kind of paintings you would hang in the living room just to see the dog growl at it.  The kind where, you'd swear... you saw the eyes follow you about the room.  Paintings so bad, even the family didn't want it. 

"That thing always gave me the creeps!" one relative said to me.

"But isn't this your Aunt Sophie?  The one who raised you after your mother than off with the Orkin Man during that water bug infestation of 1967?"

"Happened all over Skokie" the woman spit back.  "Something about those crisp exterminator uniforms just drove women crazy.  Thankfully that didn't happen with the Roto-Rooter guys."

Story after story, it was all the same.  Boring, lame, sad, dull painted portraits of the past... tossed into the trash.  Now and then you'll find them thrifting, marked down.  Even resale doesn't want them... and when they do sell, it's for the wooden frame.

But the few, the scary, the disturbing... repeat after me... the UGLY, those are the one's cherished today.  They grace swank South Loop Towhomes, Logan Square Lofts, Ravenswood Bungalows, Lake Shore Drive Condos & Hyde Park Co-ops.  They are treasured by their adoptive owners like a beloved family pet that always misses the newspaper... just like your late Uncle Herb. 

But on a good night, very late into the darkness, they'll watch you cross the room in your faux bunny slippers like some dead & disfigured night watchman of the past, just happy to be re-hung.

AliasDanny@Rocketmail.com
www.WhenDannyMetSally.com
Copyright WDMS 2012

The Death of the Ghost (& Antique Dealer) Jacob Marley

By Danny Alias

At the end of 2010 the last antique store on New York’s infamous Bleecker Street closed.  There was a time when over 20 stores thrived in the heart of the Village.  On this four block stretch and adjacent streets, such as Christopher & Hudson,  passed a pirate’s treasure trove the likes of which the world had never before seen.

“So where are all the antique stores?”

This is a question asked with equal frequency in Chicago as well:

"What happened to Belmont's Antique Row?"  What happened to Halsted Street?"

Few wish to acknowledge this, but AIDS happened.  Just as it decimated the arts and theater community around the world,  some of the finest antique dealers and the best vintage stores were swept forever away. This first wave began in New York City in the early 1980’s, then it slowly began to erode some of the best vintage resources in America... the Gay antique dealer.

Somehow people forgot or did not want to recognize that behind their favorite antique store was a shopkeeper who was a Gay Man. Only when the doors were finally locked and small sign was posted in the window (maybe with a photo, maybe not) did a customer discover that someplace (and someone) quite wonderful had suddenly disappeared.  An era had ended.  The future stumbled.

In a few instances, a friend or relative stepped in to continue what was once a successful business.   But the magic wasn’t in the store; it was in the person who had the vision, the touch, the eye of an antique dealer.  Mostly, it was a simple man who liked to discover what was lost… and share it with his friends and customers… and try to make a living along the way.  Sometimes a good living, sometimes not.

The consensus of many was (and still is) that we are the caretakers of these objects passing through our hands.  It was a calling, a duty, perhaps even an obligation.  We always knew that these vintage objects would go on, that we'd help them along in their resale journey.  We just didn't know we'd be leaving their antique magic so quickly-- that we'd be gone so soon and they'd live on in the lives of thousands of collectors to follow.   Who knew we could be as fragile as the most perfect antique crystal or the rarest bakelite clip?

Jacob Marley knew all this and much, much more.  Actually Jacob Marley was an alias of Tom Neniskis,  an uber-talented young man from Chicago's near southwest side.  How clever he was to adopt the famous Charles Dickens name and create one of the most unusual antique stores the city had ever seen.  Jacob Marley, the ex-business partner and infamous ghost who returns to teach his many lessons about life and living.  In every depiction of this story, it is Jacob Marley who steals the show.  (Can you see where this is going?)

In his own gentlemanly way Tom re-invented the art of vintage merchandising like no one before him. The final Jacob Marley store (circa 1994) was on Clark Street next to the Wrigleyville Antique Mall, of which I was one of the owners.  I knew Tom fairly well, or at least well enough to enjoy a regular chuckle when customers came in and asked for Mr. Marley.  Tom would grin and say he wasn’t in the store at present, but he would gladly help them. And then the dazzle began.

Tom was an absolute magician of display.  Before he had a store he often sold at various outdoor antique markets in the distance 'burbs, setting up a giant tent with various European flags flying at each corner (and especially center) post.   You would enter a menagerie of objects, some under huge apothecary domes, others seemingly flying through the air.  Harvest tables would be transformed into elaborate displays that defied description.  He most assuredly had the greatest collection of early church artifacts, from silver chalices to shrines of vintage religiosity.   In fact, many of the Chicago stores that people now worship for their use of creative display are really sad copies of what Mr. Marley created in the 1970’s & 80’s.

Ask any antique veteran about Tom:  They will tell you that there was never anything like Jacob Marley before... or will be again.   Victorian bird cages filled with Bakelite crucifixes.   George Jensen sterling jewelry resting in half an ostrich egg.   A Normandy Cocktail Pitcher filled with fresh lillies.  (Tom was also an incredible florist.)   It was, quite simply, the most unusual antique store in Chicago. Celebrities stalked his wares; his clientele was 14kt Gold Coast and destinations from NY's Central Park West to Hollywood (California), not Avenue.

He sold the best of the best… to the best.  He would also take the time to educate the most inquisitive mind that didn't have a dime.  Money appears to not have meant much to Tom, and not because he had much; he had some inventory and the love of the rarity hunt.  But he bought well and donated much of his modest funds to Chicago's Gay Chorus, always knowing that Jacob Marley was in show business as much as they were.  Tom wanted everyone to enjoy life through antiques, history, flowers and music and in the beauty of others.

Tom produced The Latin School Show for many, many years, bringing together the very finest dealers he could find.  To be chosen to do his show was a huge feather in one’s cap… and I’m proud to say that Tom gave my business partner and I our very first break.  We had Tom’s blessings; we had arrived.  Many would agree that Tom's shows were considered the best antique venues ever created in Chicago.  Nothing before or since could match Tom's showmanship... and his ghostly motivator, Jacob Marley.

My final memory of Tom is this:  A customer came into my store one afternoon and told me they’d just been to Jacob Marley’s; that the door was open… that they’d walked around and seen many things they liked, but couldn’t find Mr. Marley. 

I excused myself and went looking.  I too went completely through the labyrinth of his shop, but no Tom.  Then I noticed, sitting in the very middle of the room, under an amazing Indian blanket, Mr. Marley (Tom) himself.  He was asleep and I must confess, looked very much like one of the incredible displays for which he was so famous.  The customer had mistaken him for a mannequin… and so almost had I.

Of course, I knew he hadn’t been well, as a number of dealers checked in on him from time to time.  I gently shook him awake and he opened his eyes and smiled.

“Oh, Danny,” he said,  “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be silly,” I said.  “I just wanted make sure you were OK, if you needed something.”

“Could you close the store for me?” he said, pulling the blanket back up to his chin.  “I’m cold.”

“Of course.”  I locked the door, turned up the heat, then came back to him.  I took his hand.

“You know,” he said, with a dimming twinkle in eyes, “I’m an old dinosaur.”

“Oh, no you’re not.  You’re amazing and you will always be amazing!”

“No, I’m an old dinosaur.” he insisted.  “I’ve done so many things, done so many shows.  I’ve had many shops.  I’ve done it all.   I’m done.  And now there’s nothing left to do.  And that’s OK.”   He pulled the blanket over his head and turned away.

I checked in on him the following day, but he was already hospitized.  A few days later Jacob Marle and Tom…  were gone.

Now the shiny new stores, be they on Bleecker or Halsted, are filled with $50 T-shirts and $4.00 cups of coffee.  But unseen in the air, just above the heads of a generation of beautiful men, are hundreds of Jacob Marley’s, tens of thousands of Toms.   They made the world better, happier, smarter, more beautiful than how they found it.   How few people can make that claim?

"So where are all the antique stores?" they ask.  Mostly they are gone, their owners transitioning beyond their own treasures.   Jacob Marley, The Brokerage, dozens more in Chicago, countless more in New York, LA and every city across the country.

But in millions of homes across these cities and around the world are those treasures they were first to unearth, living on beyond the discoverer’s find.   Today's Americans eat at their antique dining tables.  Sit in their vintage club chairs.  Light their Art Deco torchieres, glow in their lost-futuristic Mid Century lamps.

Their influences are everyone, their touch unmistakably magically.  As are their treasured souls.

God Bless Them, Every One.

AliasDanny@Rocketmail.com
www.WhenDannyMetSally.com
Copyright WDMS, 2012

Alaskan Sea Monster "Nesie" aka "Niece" Snared as Lost Sarah Palin "Kin With Fin"

By Danny Alias

While Michele Bachmann glanced back from her meteoric broomstick ride in the polls, an unhappy Sarah Palin seemed perplexed.  As she told all of us on her historic motor coach ride though American truckstops and Civil War reenactments... (which occur spontaneously, I am told)...  she had to call off her entire Northeast tour of America because she was going fishing. 

Emergency fishing, I presume.   With keen political sense and wits akimbo, she knew something was up.  Something smelled fishy... and that always meant Michele Bachmann... or a big shrimp sale at Costco.

What Palin didn't know was that Bachmann's people had their poles in the water long before Palin even gassed up for her faux trip.   Don't mess with that Gay Deprogramming Ministry-- They can snuff out a Sea Monster... take the wind out of Sarah's sales... and still have time to grab a quick drink before the next Patti Lupone concert

Sarah puffed herself up and shouted: "Hey, Todd!  Get that Patridge Family bus outta the driveway-- The Country... and Borders Books... needs me!"

"When's Crystal coming down from her celebrity high?" barks back Todd. "This house-husband b.s. bites..."

He scratches himself and all the Bachmann people whimper a delightfully lustful sigh. 

You know what the Bachmann people are thinking, right?  Too bad Todd's straight, because he would make such a fine specimen to be turned gay, then made  straight again.  It would be like the LOGO version of the Frankenstein experiment, except the end result is George Clooney instead of George Bush.  Just consider if you will:

1) It would prove Bachmann's off-the-Gaydar theories about homo-hetero-reassignment.  (Dunk teabag here!)

2) It could gain them the Republican nomination... and perhaps even the White House. (Dunk again!)

3) Or it could just be a great opportunity to see Todd with his shirt off, telling nasty heterosexual stories in Alaska-speak.  "Wanna see my trouser trout?"

The latest thing to come out of Alaska doesn't have a million dollar book deal, talking-head employment on FOX-TOXIC-TV... or even a Winnebago to call home.  Heck, it doesn't even have legs... just like Sarah's political ambitions.

No, Sarah Palin ran back home to Alaska to go fishing... and all she caught was her dress on Michele Bachmann's husband's sewing mannequin.  Yes, he sews.  That doesn't make him less of a man, just one helluva sticher.

It will, however, get him better seats at the Republican Convention... or the next re-animation of a Liza Minneli comeback show.

In life, you never know when you'll get your "Romney" caught in the zipper of your fly...

Let's see who appreciates a good seamstress then, missy...


AliasDanny@Rocketmail.com

www.WhenDannyMetSally.com


Copyright WDMS 2012